A life long learning process

When I woke up today, I just had in mind, what will I do for myself today as I have so many things to do and the deadlines are really close? Will I have the time (a short one, of course) for myself? The answer in my mind was: probably not, maybe tomorrow. Well, I then realized that if I do that every day, I will never have time for myself. 

So, starting today, I will have this page as an engagement to myself that I will give myself time to discover and enjoy life. I will give myself time to ask questions, to reflect upon the answers and to see my progress. 

 I choose not to procrastinate and to dedicate the time that was meant for procrastination to silly small things that can and will make me happy. 

This idea mainly came from the bike accident that I had 2 weeks ago when I realized that I cannot stop working unless I am hurt and I have to. It's not that I don't like to work or I don't like to rest, it's just that, I forgot the most important thing: balance. Well, that's not easy to get but I also forgot to try to find it. I was simply believing that it will come by itself. I could have waited for a long time......... it was just a small and very useful reminder. 

It's strange how the moment of the accident felt so long, it was like a neverending moment. The time was dilated and I felt powerless in front of the situation. I couldn't think aout something else than the moment and nothing mattered anymore: responsibilities, problems, tasks or wishes. I felt alone and without control. 

It was not the first moment of this kind in my life and it has reminded me that even though work is so important, if I am not healthy and I don't take care of myself, no one else will. For good reasons. I mean yes, friends and family are supposed to be there for me (and by all means, they are) but I am the first responsible for what happens to me. No one else is responsible for my happiness and my feelings. Of course, the external factors have a big word to say in this but still, we can make our way through life happy or miserable. We have a choice and mostly, often I choose to blame faith. Now, this is not valid anymore. I take over the lead for my    way and I choose to be happy  because I do not know what is going to happen in my life in a minute, one hour, a day or a month. So planning is good., I will still do that but appreciating all the moments in my life (good or bad) is my next purpose. All the moments have a meaning and a sense and they become part of us. 

And I got it! I have the next step of my life learning process: I bought a notebook, a very nice, small (I can have all the time with me), colored notebook and I will write:

* dreams

* crazy thoughts (good and bad) to remind me that I am not an angel, I am just human

* interesting things that I find out

* happy moments

and of course, all the other things that I will consider necessary. 

In order not to become a burden, because I tend (sometimes) to do that with things because I have the purpose of making them daily, this is free of deadline in my to do list. When I feel like writing in it, it will be wonderful. If I do not, the same. 

Hmm.. it will be interesting to see (for me) what I will write by the end of my Erasmus stage in Denmark. Then I will have another notebook at home and I will see if Aarhus is "to blame" for my happiness here because after all, I am living in the city with the happiest people on Earth.