And Yes. I project my values system to others. Hence, I have false expectations from the people around me. Most of the time, I thought they need fixing when they only needed to be listened. I did the listening without taking into account that, what matters to me might be the last thing to preoccupy the person next to me. No two people have the same values system. The concept is called the Pauli ExclusionPrinciple.
This is not easy to live up with. I am aware of it now and I know that everybody had its own set of values. It is not like I did not know about it before, I had knowledge about but in practice, I did not apply or integrated the implications. Mine is composed of the time and space I allocate to people and things. What I actually lost of my sight until now is the way I spent my energy. What am I thinking at is another thing I kind of missed when discovering what I want, feel or what/who I am.
So, at a certain point, I thought maybe something is really wrong with me. Maybe my order is a kind of chaos because in theory, I support ideas and some things but then, when put in practice, my behavior and my actions are guided upon other values.
Recently, a thing struck me. I am trying very much to accomplish my objectives without being aware of the fact that my life is in a continuous change. It is a period that overlaps the self-discovery process with a full professional learning environment. I have a strong belief that hard-working people will get their dreams come true and they deserve it. And I also believe that life treats us as it does due to a reason and not a coincidence. Therefore, I had in mind all the time that, if I do my best and I work for what I want with all my power, knowledge and passion, it cannot go (that) wrong.
It is a feeling of powerless in front of what is happening that overwhelms every muscle in the body. It is like paralising when being caught in a spider's web.Still fighting but you know what the end is, after all.
I guess life had to show me the opposite to understand that in this situation, no matter how much I tried, offered or prayed, some things are not meant to be realized. I do not know the name of this phenomenon, faith, destiny or randomness, but I sure know that Absolute and Never are words that I should stop using them. Unless I want Life to prove me wrong again.
And it's not like I am challenging life. My happiness is just slightly surrounding the road I had in mind. That's fine, cause I guess good things are on the way :)
