The frame of hot water: what am I?

Going to work everyday with the subway offers me a lot of time to read and to observe things I did not before. Flipping the pages of a magazine, I discovered the "Inspiration" section and it draw my attention. Even thought the title was a bit ackward because I was thinking about food, I decided to spend some time on it. The story goes like this:

Once upon a time, a young lady goes to her mother to visit. She just said "Hello" and started to talk about her life, to complain about how hard it is at her job, how many problems she encountered, about how difficult can be to have beautiful relationships. Everything around her seemed negative and biased, and more than that, overwhelming. She was asking herself if it was the time to give up as she was tired. Tired of fighting, tired of finding solutions and tired of being awake every morning and facing problems, one after another. Like they have never stopped coming. 

Her mother listened to her to the end and then took her hand and lead her way to the kitchen. The girl was amazed about the gesture and whispered she is not hungry. Smiling, the old lady grabbed a chair for her and brought 3 pots with water in front of her. In the first one, she put carrots. In the second one, she put eggs and in the third one, she added beans of coffee. The young lady became skeptic but she sat there quietly as her mother nuddled to relax. 

20 minutes after the water in the pots with the 3 ingredients have been  boiling, the old lady brought 3 bowls and got out from the pots the carrots in the first one and the egg in the second one. The third one was filled with  the beans picked from the third pot. Then, the old lady decided to break the silence and asked her daughter:

What do you see? The answer was: "Carrots, eggs and beans of coffee". "Come closer", replied her mother, "and feel them". She touched the carrots and they became soften. She took an egg and shed tried to break it, but it became really solidified. At then end of the experiment, her mother asked her to smell and taste the coffee. A smile came up imediately on her daughter's face when she felt the rich flavor of the coffee, who instantly asked : "What is the point of all these things, mom?"

Her mother explained that all of the ingredients encountered the same resistance to a phenomenon -"the boiling". But each of them reacted differently: the solid carrots became soften, the soften egg has become solid and the beans of coffee generated a special result. After boiling, the beans of coffee changed the color and the taste of the water. 

"Who are you?", asked the mother. "Who are you when the challenges of life come to you? How do you face them?...Like a carrots, like an egg or like the beans of coffee?"

So, thinking about it, I should be aware of how do I react and how my behavior is going to be translated to future. Am I like the carrot which seems solid but once it encountered a challenge it became softened and loses its power? Am I like the egg which seems strong/solid but faced with a problem, it became solidified, meaning to become rigid on the inside? Or am I like a bean of coffee - changing the water during the process of boiling? The process of boiling is the context, the frame of the challenges I am going through. 

Therefore, if I am like the beans of coffee, even if my "boiling" situation is causing me suffering, I will still be able to become better as a person and to change what is happening around me. And no, that does not mean that everything is solved but it means that I am able to lift me up to another level. Another level of experience and existence. 

From my point of view, you cannot always be like the beans of coffee. But having this in mind, I will tend to be and learn from the situations when I'm like a carrot or an egg. 

The power to accept the things I cannot change

And Yes. I project my values system to others. Hence, I have false expectations from the people around me. Most of the time, I thought they need fixing when they only needed to be listened. I did the listening without taking into account that, what matters to me might be the last thing to preoccupy the person next to me. No two people have the same values system.  The concept is called the Pauli ExclusionPrinciple.

This is not easy to live up with. I am aware of it now and I know that everybody had its own set of values. It is not like I did not know about it before, I had knowledge about but in practice, I did not apply or integrated the implications. Mine is composed of the time and space I allocate to people and things. What I actually lost of my sight until now is the way I spent my energy.  What am I thinking at is another thing I kind of missed when discovering what I want, feel or what/who I am.

So, at a certain point, I thought maybe something is really wrong with me. Maybe my order is a kind of chaos because in theory, I support ideas and some things but then, when put in practice, my behavior and my actions are guided upon other values.  

Recently, a thing struck me. I am trying very much to accomplish my objectives without being aware of the fact that my life is in a continuous change. It is a period that overlaps the self-discovery process with a full professional learning environment. I have a strong belief that hard-working people will get their dreams come true and they deserve it. And I also believe that life treats us as it does due to a reason and not a coincidence. Therefore, I had in mind all the time that, if I do my best and I work for what I want with all my power, knowledge and passion, it cannot go (that) wrong.

It is a feeling of powerless in front of what is happening that overwhelms every muscle in the body. It is like paralising when being caught in a spider's web.Still fighting but you know what the end is, after all. 

I guess life had to show me the opposite to understand that in this situation, no matter how much I tried, offered or prayed, some things are not meant to be realized. I do not know the name of this phenomenon, faith, destiny or randomness, but I sure know that Absolute and Never are words that I should stop using them.  Unless I want Life to prove me wrong again. 

And it's not like I am challenging life. My happiness is just slightly surrounding the road I had in mind. That's fine, cause I guess good things are on the way :)