How come we rush into actions,
feelings and dreams? Is true that we don’t have TIME? I don’t have an answer to
the question even though I say the exact words sometimes. Nevertheless, I am
not convinced that we DON’T HAVE TIME. I believe that the time had the same
dimension and speed from the beginning of the world so it’s not the TIME that
changed but WE DID. And especially, we have changed the usage of it.
So what do we use our time for?
Making a count on this ending week, I can see in my schedule that beside work,
I spent most of my time at work, on the second place on the way there and back
and I did not have much left for cooking, washing, running, reading and
mails/calls. Therefore, almost nothing left for ME. ME. An observation
popped-up: I am the last in the list o priorities lately. And that part of me
is screaming. It wants attention. Fair enough. So, I will apply a new design
for my time management. Already sketched, I am now doing that for the next week
to test it. Seems like the relaxed, “let it come to me” style needs a bit of…make
up. And this way I will see if I can
“make some time”. It sounds so weird, like I can create time. Oh, I wish I
could create time. (Barney Stinson would be so jealous of me!!) I already have
it, I just misuse it.
Next step: figuring out what is
more important to me. Everything I did it will stay, all of those important
things for me. The idea is to ADD things to my life that can make me
feel…fulfilled (within the conditions I have). I don’t wish for perfection or
“pinky life”. Still, I believe I can do
more. It’s not a “”if …then..” situation or another type of pressure in my life
but I feel that I want to do it and I have the capacity to succeed. I did in
Denmark so I have to find a suitable receipt for Romania. Applying that one did
not work (I tried - silly me).
It takes time to do the real
important things: to trust and be trusted, to love and be loved, to respect, to
share and to give up pride. I suggest the length in time because such strong
feelings and actions are internalized and integrated to a body system step by
step. I am fooling myself if I believe that just by repeating that to my brain
and my soul, it will do.
It takes time especially because we live in
this world where values like integrity, honesty, happiness or solidarity are
just…beautiful words, utopias(and the number of those who believe this is
increasing day by day- I guess they are making babies and putting this idea
into their head – otherwise, I don’t understand how the dynamic of pessimistic
people has increased so much! ). It’s a world where I am being said at every
step that I can’t/shouldn’t’ trust anybody. But I want to trust people. And I
want to love. It takes time for this. But I already made the first step. I gave
up my pride.
And the song that followed in my
player when writing this post:
(It takes time/ Living a world
where you don’t know who to trust) Lyrics
